A secret I have told only a few people. Why? I was afraid of what they would think of me. Confidence
Updated: Feb 20
I have walked around openly lying to people about something. I have had people ask me a question and my answer was not the truth.
Just for me to write this is really stepping outside of my comfort zone. However, true freedom comes from being authentic, seeing a fear, understanding where the fear comes from and moving through it. Moving through the fear to the other side, which is freedom.
I am 51 years old as of a couple days ago and still, this one thing, has had control over me being my true self.
The other day, I decided it was time for me to finally just share the truth. Now, when I tell you what it is, you may say, “Mike, big deal, that’s not too bad.”
However, for me, it is a big deal. Let me explain why.
After years of learning about what makes me do the things I do, I learned such an important lesson about limiting beliefs otherwise know as programming or a paradigm. They all mean the same thing, and here is what it meant for me.
When I was a little kid, my mind just like everyone else’s mind, up until the age of 7 years old. It did not have the ability to accept or reject the things people said to me, both good or bad. That part of my mind was no functional yet.
When these things were said, they were written into my hard drive, the mind, as a program, which would control my thoughts, feelings and actions.
So when I was in school, I would get bad grades and then was compared to other people.
Teachers compared me to others. In school meetings they would say things like, “he is such a great kid, with a great smile, BUT he really needs to focus, he really needs to work harder, he just isn’t performing well.
Those words created a program or limiting belief that was installed in the deep part of my mind. The program installed was, I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH and I AM A FAILURE.
Now, those things were not true at all, however, my mind did not understand this. Why? It was already programmed when I was young and once programmed, it must be reprogrammed.
I didn’t have the ability because my mind wasn’t fully developed with the ability to accept or reject information, so guess what, that program was installed.
It was as if someone connected a cable from a keyboard to my brain and those limiting beliefs/programs were written right to my hard drive.
If I press the FaceTime button on my phone, that program comes up. Why, because it was programmed that way. The ONLY WAY IT CAN BE CHANGED, is to rewrite the program on the phone.
Here is the issue, once the failure program was installed, without knowing how to rewrite the program, even 51 years later, those programs created when I was only 5 years old, still had complete control over that part of my life.
Now I have done a lot of work to release many other limiting programs, however, some, like this one, still had control.
So as I explore them, I realized, this one thing, this one secret, still actually triggers that limiting belief, that program of I am not good enough and I am a failure.
One of the first ways for me to rewrite the program is to become AWARE and ADMIT it is there and become fully aware of its power over me.
The fact that I am writing this is clear evidence that it did indeed have power over me. So I am fully aware and now putting it out there into the universe, to acknowledge it has had a hold over me and controlled my feelings for a long time but I am letting it go.
I have held on so tightly to it, trying to hide it from others. You know who feels the pain? Me. So I am letting it go, but finally freeing myself of the secret.
Ready for it? Remember, most of you will say, that’s no big deal, but remember, those limiting beliefs are POWERFUL. We all have our own programs and to us, triggering the program causes significant thoughts and emotions.
Many people think that I was married 2 times, but actually, I was married 3 times. There it is, that is the secret.
Wow, just writing that down, I actually feel better. I have hid that fact for so many years out of complete embarrassment. In the past every time I would think of it, it would trigger the program, you are a failure and I would feel like a total failure.
So what is the good news in all of this? My life is spent coaching others. We look at these limiting beliefs. Most people keep doing the same things over and over, only because they are unaware of the programming inside and most importantly, how to rewrite the programs.
I have decided to completely rewrite this program. It has had control over me for a long time. I am using the same process I have used to rid myself of the many other programs that were installed by others.
I want you to really hear that last sentence. ALL THE BELIEFS YOU HAVE ABOUT YOURSELF WERE GIVEN TO YOU BY SOMEONE ELSE!!!! You did not CHOOSE to think you were a failure, not good enough, stupid and all other negative programs that were installed.
So we all walk around feeling these feelings. When I say everyone, even the most put together, confident person you can imagine, still is effected by this.
Top level executives, athletes, mom’s and dads, everyone. EVERYONE is effected by it.
The good news is there is a way past the programming that OTHERS installed. Those teachers, friends, parents, brothers and sisters that said things like, “you are an idiot, you are stupid, you will never amount to anything, you suck at this, you aren’t worthy of money.” That was their beliefs, not yours.
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Your mind was not at a place to reject any of these things being said, so guess what, we accepted it all. ALL OF IT!!!
Now it’s time to rewrite the program.
That is a process and takes some time to do, but absolutely works. Think about how many years we have replayed the old program, over and over and over again.
We get into a relationship, a feeling of not good enough gets triggered, and we run away. We start a new business and the feeling of not good enough gets triggered and we quit. It applies to all areas of life.
So, I want to thank you for allowing me to finally rid myself of this old limiting belief of feeling like a failure.
For me, I learned so much in each of the relationships. It has allowed me to become the person I am today. I am grateful for all of it. I am grateful for you, I am grateful for my family, I am grateful for my clients.
Thank you for allowing me the space to do this and just know, if you can relate to these negative feelings, the programming, YOU CAN CHANGE IT. We never learned how to do this in school or from our parents and most people just walk around feeling these terrible feelings with no idea how to change it.
Now that you are aware that this exists, it’s time to decide once and for all, no longer will we allow things that were said to us when we were born up until 7 years old, which were completely untrue, to control our life.
Is this making sense to you? If you have questions please comment below.
So there it is, that’s something I have allowed to control me for so many years. Many people asked me about being married and I never shared this because of that silly limiting belief, that until I became aware of it, had complete control over my thinking, feelings and actions.
I never thought I would be able to free myself of this excess baggage, not just this limiting belief, but so many I have left at the trash dump. Believe me, if I can do it, anyone else can. ANYONE! I have seen it so many times in all of my clients and myself.
Are you tired of allowing these limiting beliefs to control you? Schedule a free call with me now by clicking this link: